The Men Behind the Meat

Posted June 18, 2014, under Gee Whillickers!

Now that we’ve covered the Lunch Meat itself, we thought it appropriate in our final introspective installment to tell you about the people who put the Meat together. We are required by regulations to inform you that you are now entering an area with greater than usual levels of hyperbole. Please fasten your seatbelts, put your tray table up, and your seat back in the full upright position.


Bret Rigney

Original Conceiver

The Lunch Meat was the brainchild of Bret Rigney, who established its quasi-retro feel and bombastic tone. Bret’s been doing design work since before the dawn of the Internet, back when everything was done using chisels and stone tablets.

The father of three has moved on to other challenges (like being a father of three) but his legacy lives on in the Lunch Meat (and also his three children).

Seen here preparing to lead insurgent forces, presumably in an attack against a prophylactics factory.


Andrew McCullough

Packaging

“Mac” — as he is inexplicably not called by anyone, anywhere — is the Creative Director of our fine group. He’s been with RG for eight years. When it comes to the Lunch Meat, his touch can be seen in the images that grace every Lunch Meat, particularly the header images and the recurring “Johnson” gags.

When he is not designing, he shoots things, using guns, bows, and sometimes a camera. He can often be found in the wilderness hunting down fresh provisions for his family and presumably drinking his own urine. There is an unsubstantiated rumor in the office that he therefore refuses to go grocery shopping, and only wears clothing made from the skins of his kills.

Basically, we’re all going to be depending on Andrew in the event of zombie apocalypse.

It was only natural for Andrew to become one of Bret’s insurgents.


Loren Helgeson

Distribution

As our resident website-builder-guy, Loren makes it possible for the completed Lunch Meat to arrive in your inbox and to be found online. He is proficient in HTML/CSS, PHP and WordPress, as well as the ancient art of Flash, and has earned the coveted title of Galaga Grand Master.

He has been working for Rigney Graphics since he was found on our doorstep in a wicker basket in 2004.

This is Loren’s California ID picture, because he can only be photographed when asleep.


James Callaghan

Meat Grinder

James is basically a cyborg, which is way less awesome than it sounds because his machine part is a hearing aid. He’s been with Rigney for the past five years of his 20-year career as a typesetting and layout maniac. When he’s not messing around with kerning and stuff, he is writing books and/or sarcastic tweets.

His Lunch Meat contribution is to work the grinder and mash all the words and pictures into something vaguely approaching a fun, informative article.

James still wears shirts like this one.


Bruce & Chris Rigney

Head Kahuna & Lead Wahine, Respectively

Of course, before any of those jokers, there were Bruce and Chris. They met during their service in the U.S. armed forces — Bruce in the Air Force and Chris in the Army Nursing Corps — and married in 1968. We can only imagine their relationship was forged during some sort of groovy ’60s Mission Impossible-style adventure with explosions and disguises and gadgets and stuff.

They refuse to confirm that this was taken by a killer Nazi robot that they disarmed and reprogrammed to be their wedding photographer. But they don’t deny it either.

In the early ’80s, they started Rigney Graphics and quickly earned a reputation for precision, professionalism and punctuality — while never sacrificing the personal touch — that makes the company one of the best in the West.

That is a reputation we maintain to this day, and we’re all here to make sure you are the beneficiaries of it.


Rigney Graphics is a Pasadena graphic arts company that can help you create an impact with design and marketing solutions for print and web.